Healing Is Not Always Becoming—Sometimes It’s Unbecoming

We often think of healing as becoming more.

More whole. More wise. More evolved. More “ourselves.”

But sometimes, healing is the opposite. It is unbecoming.

The slow, sacred unraveling of everything we thought we had to be. The quiet shedding of masks we didn’t know we were wearing. The release of old armor that once protected us, but now only keeps life at a distance.

Unbecoming is not glamorous. It doesn’t come with milestones or applause. Often, it feels like losing ground. Like forgetting how to speak the language everyone else still uses. Like standing in a world that no longer recognizes you.

But this is the secret work. The deep healing. The kind that doesn’t just patch the surface—but dissolves the very scaffolding of false self.

And when the scaffolding falls, what remains?

Something quieter. Truer. Less constructed.

You.

Not the you you were taught to be.

Not the you you performed to survive.

But the you that is still and soft and ancient beneath it all.

The you that doesn’t need to become anything—because presence itself is enough.